Disapointment

… have found myself pondering the experience of disappointment these days. How much it can sting and burn. A very nasty sort of burn.

But also.. how there can be something deeply sobering and cleansing about it. When I recognize it as a way of re-orienting to and re-coming-in-contact with reality. My expectations and predictions were wrong, reality turned out to be different. Then, disappointment is merely the readjustment pain, merely the sign of my belief having become slightly more truth-tracking.

I don’t think I can always and fully hold this latter view yet. Part of me still feels a burn beyond mere readjustment pain. But today I noticed how I had a small instance of disappointment, and then - to my surprise - it didn’t feel quite so bad. It felt nearly good, or grounding; I felt some part if me welcoming the update in that it may be contributing to making my sight ever clearer.